Faith of a Centurion
August 24th, 2008 by jboygonzalessjLink: Faith of a Centurion.
Link: Faith of a Centurion.
Dear Friends,
I decided to move my blog to another location: faithofacenturion.blogspot.com.
First, many offices have prohibited friendster during office hours either for security and/or productivity reasons. So many of you suggested to move my blog somewhere legitimate.
Second, many Jesuits have become bloggers. So, I have linked all their blogs to mine. You might want to see the various eccentricities of my brother Jesuits: literary, photography, medicine, food, political, spiritual, introspective, etc. And perhaps find yourself in one of them.
Third, since I am maintaining my blogs, it will demand time to upload the same content to two blogs.
Finally, I have another blog about prayer points for those who would like to be on retreat or recollection. It is called the Prayer of a Centurion under the ‘The Narrow Gate’ icon. In addition, I have added Sacred Space, the Irish Jesuits’ daily prayer guide. Sacred Space is manageable for people on the go. Simple and precise. Brief but sensible.
And just in case you would like to view my personal blog where i dump anything from everything: ie. poems, personal journal excerpts, videos I like, etc. Click under "The Narrow Gate" icon: The Wind is a Horse. Or if you want cooking recipes, look for The Jesuit Gourmet: a blog of Jesuits who like cooking. I am a member of The Jesuit Gourmet blog.
Thank you very much again for supporting my blog. And hope to see your comments at the other end.
Let’s pray for each other.
Fr. Jboy SJ
Sunday Homily for All Souls and All Saints Days: Matthew 22, 1-12
The Meaning of Visiting the Grave
The Gospel today speaks about practicing what we preach. But there are things which we practice but do not know why we preach it. For example, we come to Sunday mass but we totally do not understand what the mass really means. The same applies to our practice of commemorating All Souls Day and All Saints Day. We come to the cemeteries without actually knowing why we go and visit the dead. Media commercializes these two important practices by putting in the Western season of Halloween: Television shows like Eat Bulaga! and various commercial establishments wore Halloween costumes as themes, and many of us associate November 1 & 2 to horror stories of ghosts. I believe Halloween is an empty tradition. I shall therefore embark on an explanation of these two feasts using three perspectives that are easy to memorize.
First, the perspective of hope. When I visit the grave of my father whenever I find the chance to be home, the first thing I encounter is the reality of forever. At the grave, I talk to him about my life believing that he listens to me and he is present. Memories of him flood my mind, and in the remembrance of the times he spent with me and my family, he becomes present to me always. Death therefore as faith has it is never an end. In the preface for Christian Burial, it is said that life has not ended, but changed. The same thing with me: whatever challenges I face, I am always reminded not to lose hope, because in the end, there is life forever. And the proof is my father’s presence to me wherever I am, never anymore limited to physical presence. My father is with me always, all the time, wherever I go.
After grief and sorrow, I find myself feeling a deep joy: that I am happy for Daddy, that he is home in the arms of God. Oftentimes, our grief is about ourselves who are left behind, but that is a different story. We are also taught that Christians should be happy for someone else’s triumph — the remedy for our envy and jealousy. And right at the grave, we are asked to go out of our own self-absorption and be happy for those who have gone ahead of us. That their life speaks about forever, about hope, about God.
Second, the perspective of love. Closely connected to the reality of forever, we are reminded that all our love, all our life finds meaning, direction, and goal in the desire to finally come home to the arms of God. It is not surprising therefore that true lovers promise to love each other until the end of time. This theme one finds in our literature, in our songs, and even in theater: “Hanggang sa Dulo ng Walang Hanggan”, West Side Story’s “Somewhere”, etc. We have known this reality since time immemorial. At the grave of those we love, we have found the meaning of love. My love for my father thus is beyond the grave: not even death will bring us apart.
Moreover, the grave reminds us of the things that are really important. Often we are swept with trivial things that do not last: temporal things that have become the source of our pride. These are our economic status, our educational background, our achievements, and our titles. If we look more closely, we are in a twisted world. The Gospel teaches us that all of these temporal things are to be used for service, in the love of others. Case in point: when we reach the highest educational attainment, post-graduate studies for example, it is expected that our expertise will make us great educators. But tragically, many of those with PhDs are the most boring and horrifying teachers or astutely proud individuals. Our faith tells us that the more we have, the more responsible we become of others: thus, they should be able to adapt to slow learners as well as to gifted individuals. Great service is carried until the next life; the others end at the grave. Proof: we remember the sacrifice of heroes, and are inspired to continue their legacy.
In addition, those who visit us when we die are the recipients of our love. They are the ones who matter. They are the ones whom we should dedicate our lives with. This is the direction of all our courses of action, our decisions, and our sacrifices. The grave redirects our lives.
Furthermore, I find myself connected with my ancestors. At the side walls of the 17th century
church of St. John the Baptist in Camalig, Albay are the niches of my ancestors who have contributed to the construction of the church. I was baptized there. I played the Kawai organ there in high school. And my vocation grew there. I would not be a priest now without the church built by great ancestors. In the cemetery, my mother would give me a tour of all the people there. She would tell me that her mother used to sing at church, and her father used to play the organ at mass. Today, that is precisely what I do. All these ancestors of mine contributed to who I am now. When I visit the cemetery, I find myself connected to generations of familial love and service to the community. I belong there.
Finally, the perspective of faith. Every Sunday, the creed is recited to remind us of the basic tenets of our faith. In the creed, there is a phrase that is the source of the practice of commemorating the dead: the “communion of saints.” Just as I am connected with my ancestors, we who are pilgrims here on earth are connected with those who are still being purified and those who are already with God. And all those who are with God are holy people: they are saints, whether known or unknown.
And their presences are manifestations of God’s personal love for us. By their lives, we are guided. We are assured that we are never alone. I know my father is a saint: his life has been a good example to me and my family. His being father when I was a child was my first encounter of God’s fatherly love; and it continues to be until now, and in the future.
As we visit the graves of our loved ones, let us make our visit meaningful by keeping them in mind. And at the same time, re-evaluate our lives in the perspectives of hope, love and faith. And maybe ask just one question: what would I like people to remember me by when I die or what could be my contribution to the people who will succeed me. As we commune with them, we pray for them that they too pray for us.
18 October 2005: Luke 10, 1-12, 17-20
Harvesting our Blessings
The Gospel today gives us a wider mission: as workers for the harvest. This mission is intended not just for special people like priests and nuns, but for all of us. You see the Gospel mentions “seventy men” who were sent by Jesus. The number 70 was for the Jews symbolic. It was held that during Jesus’ time that there were 70 nations in the world. And thus, Luke whose Gospel we read today used the number 70 to mean that the mission of Jesus is for all nations; and therefore, the mission is for all of us. We are sent that all people will hear about Jesus, love Jesus and follow Jesus. Secondly, it also means that the harvest is assured. What are needed are laborers to harvest. We can be laborers. But what can be harvested, and how can we harvest? What can be harvested are blessings or graces; and thus we harvest by receiving our blessings.
Most of us have been given many more blessings than we have received. We do not take time to be blessed or make the space for it. We may have filled our lives so full of other things that we have no room to receive our blessings. Blessings are all over our lives, but they are waiting for our time and our attention for them to enter our hearts.
Martin Buber reminds us that just to live is holy. Just to be as we are is a blessing. If he is right, what prevents us from receiving our blessings? I believe it is not the lack of time. Often times we may have not realized or recognized a blessing when it is given or we may have ideas about how life should be, how people should behave, how events should have happened that keep us from experience life as it should be. We may have frozen ourselves in the past that we believe that what we had experienced before, our past decisions which made us who we are, our past triumphs should and must always happen to those who come after us, particularly our children. It is often difficult to accept that their dreams are not the same as our dreams, their decisions are not the same us our choices, and the events that happen to them are not the same as the struggles we had encountered. But being frozen and being caught up in the past shields us from receiving the blessings of the present. Or, we may become so caught up with what is missing in the world, what is lacking in people, what is events should have never have happened, that we allow our hearts to break, that we may have felt empty in the midst of all our graces.
We can bless others only when we feel blessed ourselves. Blessing life sometimes means that we should learn how to celebrate life than how to fix it. With a lot of darkness in the world, we may have lost our eye for joy. Often we look and judge life in order to move things forward, or we may have let our anger change the world, and we may have been too critical of others including our children and co-workers, hoping that our being critical of them will change them and their decisions. To receive our blessings often means having the humility to accept that we cannot change the world, or restore the world alone.
I guess this is what it means about Jesus’ saying that the harvest is plenty but the laborers are few. The laborers are few because there are many things that shield us from recognizing our harvest. Some blessings do go when not recognized at the right time. A good friend is right in front of you, but you let them pass. A deeper relationship is right ahead of us only if we take a 360-degree turn of telling the truth about how one feels, but we let it go afraid the present relationship might change. An opportunity to be closer to a loved one comes right by and we let them pass because our fears to express our love prevent us from expressing them. Only to realize that receiving the blessing is too late. As Peter Parker said in Spiderman II, “In doing the right thing, sometimes we need to sacrifice our dreams.” Let me add, “In order to love someone as dearly as possible, sometimes we need to sacrifice our work and our one way of dealing with life.”
Sometimes our wounds open us to see our blessings and thus see different ways of receiving such blessings. People who have suffered serious illnesses and great tragedies often have let go a great deal, but their wounds have allowed them to realize what and who is more important to them.
Therefore, as laborers, let us harvest our blessings by opening our eyes to see them in our lives. We desire the greatest blessing possible. Well, in Latin, desiderie or desire means to be beside the stars. To be beside our blessings.
20 October 2005. Luke 12, 49-53: Fire, baptizein, and division
Fire, Baptizein, Division
St. Gregory the Great, Ambrose, Cyril of Alexandria and Jerome say this fire as a symbolic fire, like the Holy Spirit. Jesus speaks of a fire in the hearts of men (Luke 24, 32 as the fire in the hearts of the disciples of Emmaus). “Are not our heart burning.” And this fire as Jesus encouraged to be kindled.
= Jesus used the word baptizein is the last sense (d) to mean that he is going to experience a terrible thing, but through which he has to pass to emerge triumphant.
Points to Ponder:
· QUESTION TO PONDER: What person are you? Cold or Warm? Are you contented with just what is there, or are your hearts burning and desiring for something more?
· QUESTION TO PONDER: Christianity is not just being nice. It means being angry at times, confronting injustice, making a stand. This Gospel is meant to shake us from being cold-hearted, into Christians with a stand.
Sunday Homily for 23 October 2005: Matthew 22, 34-40
They said that Christianity is a simple religion. Today, we hear about how simple our faith is. Jesus has laid down for us only two commandments, a definite summary of all the commandments in the Old Testament, which we can memorize and live our lives with. He has laid the complete definition of religion.
First, religion consists in loving God. The verse which Jesus quotes is Deuteronomy 6,5, which is part of the Shema, the basic and essential creed of Judaism, the sentence which every Jewish service opens, and the first text which every Jewish child should memorize. It means that to God we give our total love, a love which dominates all of ourselves, a total commitment of life to God.
Second, Jesus quotes comes from Leviticus 19, 18. Our love for God must issue in love for people. But it should be noted in which order the commandments come: it is the love of God first, and the love of people second. Our love of people flows from its source: our love for God. Why should we love people? Because God loves us, that we become lovable and worthy to be loved. The biblical teaching about people is that we are not a collection of chemical elements, or a part of the animal species, but that we are made in the image and likeness of God (Genesis 1, 26-27).
How do we love God and persons? Let me first begin with ourselves: What kind of love do you want? I have a story, The Kind of Love I Want:
It was a busy morning, approximately
8:30 a.m.
, when an elderly gentleman in his 80s arrived to have sutures (stitches) removed from his thumb. He stated that he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at
9 a.m.
I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to be able to see him.
I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound. On exam, it was well healed so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.
While taking care of his wound, we began to engage in conversation I asked him if he had a doctor’s appointment that morning, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, and that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife. I then inquired about her health. He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer’s disease.
As I finished dressing his wound, I asked if she would be worried if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now. I was surprised and asked him, "And you still go every morning, even though she doesn’t know who you are?" He smiled as he patted my hand and said, "She doesn’t know me, but I still know who she is.” I had to hold back tears as he left. I had goose bumps and thought, “That is the kind of love I want in my life."
* * *
If a love like this — when people love us for everything that we are, even if we forget and neglect them — is the kind of love that we want, then that is the kind of love we give of others. If they forget to thank you for the things you have done for them, love them anyway. Because that is the same with God. Our God is a faithful lover: even if we forget and neglect him, the Lord continues to love us anyway. Because, like the husband, it doesn’t matter that she forgets, what matters is that he knows her.
John 6, 1-15 Feeding the Multitude & Gospels about banquets
The banquet is a very powerful image to the ancient Israelites where everyone partakes of the food and wine in perfect friendship and equality with one’s neighbors. It is easy then to see why Jesus would use the table as a symbol of God’s kingdom. Whether in the great banquets of kings to the meal time of shepherds, the table was a place of peace and equality. Everyone regardless of status shares a basic need as hunger, and a common reason to celebrate as the presence of a great prophet. In the Gospel of John, the
Kingdom of God as the great banquet is mirrored in the simple meal of barley loaves and fishes.
And thus, all meals are not just acts of physical replenishing, to be done quickly so that one can rush to the television or dash to the computer. Meals are important events. First, it is an event of gratitude for all that God has given us. It is a time to praise, honor and thank our Creator. Today, seldom do families and friends pray before meals. “Bless us, O Lord, and these Your gifts, from your bounty…” Hardly do we remember that each meal— or snacks for that matter — are events of God being a good parent and a good provider. In John’s Gospel, the miracle of feeding the multitude happened after Jesus took the loaves and had given thanks (John
6:10 ).
Second, it is an event to celebrate the bonds of family and friends and eventually deepening relationships. Today, many families do not anymore sit at table together. The reason can be work-related or simply that today’s culture does not give importance to common family time. For example, with the advent of telenovelas, primetime television affected common family meals. People eat to replenish themselves and then hurry to their favorite soap operas, afraid to miss a segment of the story. Little do we realize that we are missing an important part of our lives: we would miss a day’s events in the life of our loved ones, an opportunity to listen to their stories, a time to strengthen our bonds, and most importantly, to remember God’s miracle of love during the day, shared in a simple meal. In the Gospel of John, the crowd is not only hungry, but weary, lost and detached from one another. With the lost of interacting between family and friends, people easily becomes detached from one another.
A miracle happens when everyone shares the same food and drink. A miracle happens when everyone shares their whole lives in openness to one another like a personal problem, a common concern, or a day’s triumph. A miracle happens when even a single person, like a simple boy, shares what one has like fish and the poor’s barley loaves (Judges
7:13 ; Ezekiel
4:12 ) used as feed for animals (1 Kings
4:28 ) to a hungry crowd. The single person is not only contented, but is no longer an isolated individual, but a member of a community, like a family around the dining table. The multitude becomes a community. It is what happens to each individual person in the congregation at mass: we, who shares Christ, the bread of life himself, become one. The table of the Lord becomes a place of peace and love, and the stranger who once felt alone and rejected, is never turned away.
And so, when we receive Christ in the Eucharist, it also means that we must also be the genuine presence of Christ in our own community: feeding those who are hungry for food or our love, we must make our tables a place of peace and friendship. If we look into our past, we see that families did take extra care to prepare the meals so that the family table became an important event, not just a refueling of physical hunger. So we must take extra care to prepare ourselves so that when we have given ourselves as food for our neighbor, the quality of service is excellent.
Many of us hold a great devotion to our Blessed Virgin Mary. Many of us have set certain days within the week such as Wednesday for our Mother of Perpetual Help, or certain dates within the year such as the Feast of the Assumption on the 15th of August, the Immaculate Conception on the 8th of December or the Birthday of our Mother on the 8th of September to particularly express deep love towards our Mother. And many of us have used the rosary to show such devotion. In many Catholic schools, October is marked by what we call the “living rosary” in which students recite the rosary together. Today, it is with deep sadness, that such devotions are slowly fading and many of us do not even know how the devotion to our Lady of the Rosary was promoted.
Apart from the signal defeat of the Albigensian heretics at the battle of Muret in 1213 which legend has attributed to the recitation of the rosary by St. Dominic, it is believed that heaven has on many occasions rewarded the faith of those who had recourse to this devotion in times of special danger. More particularly, the naval victory of Lepanto gained by Don Juan of Austria over the Turkish fleet on the first Sunday of October in 1571 responded wonderfully to the processions made at
Rome on that same day by the members of the Rosary confraternity. St. Pius V thereupon ordered that a commemoration of the rosary should be made upon that day, and at the request of the Dominican Order. In 1671 the observance of this festival was extended by Clement X to the whole of Spain, and somewhat later Clement the XI after the important victory over the Turks gained by Prince Eugene on 6 August, 1716 (the feast of our Lady of the Snows), at Peterwardein in Hungary, had commanded the feast of the Rosary to be celebrated by the universal Church. And thus this devotion is specially done in times of danger. It is not surprising that at crucial moments— moments that spell danger — we see ourselves clutching the rosary: whether at sea, or in total darkness when we are afraid.
One of the greatest questions about the rosary is its repetitive prayer. The Hail Mary’s are repeated several times. And many— including those who are not Catholics — have questioned the practicing of mindlessly repeating the vocal prayers. In fact we heard from tradition that they explained the repetitive Hail Mary’s like a bouquet of roses to our Mother. We seek a better answer than that.
First, it is good to know that Catholics are not the only ones who use repetitive prayer. Zen Buddhism, for example, meditates using several mantras in order for them to achieve inner peace. Second, it is good to know that in Catholic tradition and prayer, repetition is not a strange thing. St. Ignatius’ Repetition, for example, is a help to prayer which he uses constantly. Repetition is an important way to notice the interior spiritual movements in one’s heart and thus listen for the prompting of God’s Spirit. It sometimes takes a repetition or two before we can deeply see what is going on in a prayer that is challenging us and, thereby, achieve the fruit of the contemplation. St. Ignatius would recommend its use both during the directed retreat and for one’s daily prayer exercises.
However, we only have to look into our daily lives in order to know how important repetition is. There are many things that we repeat in order for us to learn from it. Studies are repetitions. What the teacher has taught us, we repeatedly review until we begin to understand it. Then it becomes part of us.
The same thing with values and change. For example, when one repeatedly becomes grateful for the many blessings he has been given, eventually, he becomes the virtue itself— he becomes a grateful person. They said that you need to repeatedly do a thing for 30 days, and it will become a habit. Moreover, certain events, such as going to church also have meaning. Let me tell you this story.
A churchgoer wrote a letter to the editor of the newspaper and complained that it made no sense to go to church every Sunday. "I’ve gone for 30 years now," he wrote, "and in that time I have heard something like 3,000 sermons. But for the life of me, I can’t remember a single one of them. So I think I’m wasting my time and the pastors are wasting theirs by giving sermons at all."
This started a real controversy in the "Letters to the Editor" column, much to the delight of the editor. It went on for weeks until someone wrote this clincher:
"I’ve been married for 30 years now. In that time my wife has cooked some32,000 meals. But for the life of me, I cannot recall the entire menu for a single one of those meals. But I do know this: They all nourished me and gave me the strength I needed to do my work. If my wife had not given me these meals, I would be physically dead today. Likewise, if I had not gone to church for nourishment, I would be spiritually dead today!"
The same thing with the rosary. When we remember the events in Jesus’ life—- from the Joyful, Light, Sorrowful, and Glorious —- we repeatedly become familiar with his life. So that as we repeat, and repeat his life, Jesus’ life becomes our life. When we repeat and repeat the Hail Mary, we hope that Mary’s life becomes our life as well. And when we come and pray repeatedly, we say to the Lord how much we actually love Him.
In our home, my mother has taught my family to pray the rosary every night. To me, it is much, much similar, when I repeat and repeat the words, “I love you, Mom” to assure her that her son loves her. The repetition of “I love you, Mom” is much, much more significant in my life today especially that my mother is sick. You see when we get sick, our wounds are healed with repeated words of love.
Wednesday, October 5, 2005. Luke 11, 1-4. Lord, teach us to pray.
A useful way of praying in the spiritual life is the examen, which St. Ignatius himself counseled was the single most important exercise for a person to do every day. In essence, it is about taking a good look at our choices in life and asking whether they have made us better persons. Over time, the examen helps us to take regular inventory of our spiritual lives. By praying the examen, we become more adept at listening to God and working with God in the ongoing project of building a good life.
There are two types:
The First Type of Examen. The first type of examen is the kind we undertake when we come to a life stage that makes us think about where we’ve been— what the previous weeks, months, or years have been like for us. Often, this kind of examen happens with some big event, good or bad: graduation, illness, the birth of a child, a family tragedy. Big events in our lives force us to confront the way we’ve been living and the choices we’ve made; sometimes we are thankful, and other times we have regrets. When we perform this kind of examen, we are asking about how our past attitudes have affected our choices over time.
The Second Type of Examen is about looking at our consciousness of the past day. It is this practice that becomes the regular maintenance of the spiritual life: it is about paying attention to highs and lows, things we are grateful for and things we regret. In this examen, we go through our memories of the day to see what emerges. The steps below:
1. Pray for Understanding. Pray that God might help you understand how he is working with you in your everyday life. We choose to believe that God is present to us in every moment, and so we pray that in reviewing the day, we may come to know God’s activity with us.
2. Give Thanks. Recall and give thanks for the good things God has given you. Practice thankfulness for basic goods, like being alive, being with people you love, having food to eat, and so on. The practice of gratitude alone is a valuable exercise for many, particularly those who are at difficult periods in their lives. I came to understand this point recently. Many things in my life seemed wrong, and so my spiritual director instructed me to practice this exercise of gratitude. Instead of focusing on all the negative feelings, I focused on what was good.
3. Pay attention to your feelings. Pay attention to strong feelings, both positive and negative, that emerge in your recollection of the day. For Ignatius, feelings were a barometer of the spiritual life, for they tell us things about ourselves and our relationship with God. In looking over the past day, ask yourself what feelings were most strong and why. Try not to “censor” your feelings, determining in advance which are permissible and which are not. Simply ask God to help you understand where the feelings come from and what they tell you about your spiritual life.
4. Examine one of your feelings. Choose one strong feeling from the past day, then dig deeper; let it be the source of your prayer. If this feeling has emerged in your memory of the day, then it surely points to something important. What is it? Is the feeling positive or negative, and how does it move you? Do you want to be angry at God, or do you want to praise God? Whatever the feelings move you toward can be a source of prayer. Again, remember that honesty and openness are important here. Don’t try to predetermine what a prayer should be, any more than you would predetermine what a friendship is supposed to be. Simply allow the feeling to lead you in conversation with God.
5. Look ahead. Move towards looking ahead. As you wind up your prayer from the feeling of the past day, start thinking about how this will affect your choices in the future. Ask God to be with you as your prepare for what lies ahead. Again pay attention to your feelings: are you looking forward to the next day or are you afraid of it?
6. Make a Closing Prayer. Close with a standard prayer, like the Our Father, or use some words that connote your willingness to listen to God in the coming day. Again, pray for the grace to discern God’s will and the courage to do it.
Final Note. The examen does not need to be at a time set apart. It is good to do this once in a while, really taking stock of ourselves and the choices we’ve made, but it is also good to integrate elements of the examen into our everyday thinking. It’s possible to do an examen while waiting in life, eating lunch, driving, listening to music. At the most basic level, the examen is your response to the question, “What has God been doing in my life?” It is about paying my attention to my relationship with God: the ways my personality, strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes, choices and dilemmas tell me about God’s movements in my life. It is the chance to simply see God in our lives and to be conscious of His abiding presence in our life. He said, “I will be always with you till the end of time.”
Practical Suggestions for Prayer
Some Questions:
Some Meditations
Material taken from Tim Muldoon, The Ignatian Workout: daily spiritual exercises for a healthy faith. Jesuit Communications Foundation Inc. 2004